Now Playing: “Keeping Me Alive” by The Afters

And so I went to college in a dispirited mood.

But college was my “high school”; college was, for me, what high school was for other people. The music continues and goes on to rock out.

I was ecstatic when I found out that I passed the University of the Philippines College Admission Test. It was an exciting thought to know that I‘ll be going to UP Los Baños. I celebrated a lot when I found out.

College was the birth of my social life. I met new friends, and I hung out with them a lot. I noticed that I had more girl friends than boys. It must be because of my dealings with lots of girls.

I also encountered more positively challenging subjects. I loved the idea of choosing my own subjects.

Now Playing: “Deathbed” by Relient K

At this time, the MP3 player is going on low battery. I’d have to recharge it and upload more songs, but then the last song plays. It is by far the most important song in the playlist. I couldn’t let it pass, since it is really important.

In college, I met my creator and Father, God. I became involved with Campus Crusades for Christ. I’ve questioned my faith before, but meeting Him firsthand has changed me. I now place myself in His control, my MP3 in His hands, so that He could download the songs Himself.

I was lost without Him, and I was scared of the dark. The evil slipping into the dimension of the world gripped me through fear. I tried to make do with other beliefs, but to no avail. Hence, the burst of light that was Him was comforting to me.

As I said, my life is a never-ending playlist, and it is still ongoing. God Himself is playing it, and I just move to the music. Whether it is dance music or a sad love song, I move. As the music plays, I sing the melodies of my life and tap my feet to the tune of humanity. I’m off to the showers to sing aloud the beauty of my life.

Now Playing: “Kay Ganda ng Ating Musika” by Hadji Alejandro

*to be continued......after about 30 more years....depends on the lifespan of my MP3...."

Now Playing: “Girl of the Year” by FM Static

At the dawn of my high school, I met Kiarra, who’s now one of my best buds. But back then, she was my crush. Oh my, I remember the giddy part of this track. There was this event in my first year called “FS Night”, where the freshmen and the sophomores go partying. I asked Kiarra to be my “date” on that event. I never got an answer, because, being the torpe that I am, I withdrew the question just as immediately as I asked her. I walked away shyly, feeling weird and mad at myself.

Second year comes, and so does another crush. Celina. Yeah, as I said, second year was my darkest year, but I didn’t regret meeting her. Second year was the first time I officially courted a girl. But it was also the first time I got “busted”. I’d rather not go into details.

In third year, the most awkward event happened. I had a crush on a girl named Sheila Mae. I guess I was too obvious, since that was the year I wrote my first prose, a short love story, entitled “Deathly Still”, in which I used her name as the female lead. Still, I tried to court her, but she stopped me when I made my move. That’s because she already has a boyfriend. Imagine the mortified look on my face when I found out. I became scared of the boyfriend, Stephen, who happens to be in my class. Still, that didn’t prevent me from being friends with her. However, I knew that if I loved having my neck attached to my body, I won’t pursue this relationship.

The love song on my fourth year was the most life-changing of all. I guess it’s because of my hormones. But I “fell in love” with a lady (she remains unnamed, because she might read this). She’s different from every girl I had a crush on, because she’s the only one who’s rather rude to me. She can be sweet at times, but mostly I got the receiving end of her slapping hand. She can wear a halo and hold an executioner’s axe at the same time. Weirdly, that’s why I fell in love with her. It was all fine before December 2007. We went to our retreat, and that’s where I told her everything. Her reaction changed my life. She became truly mad at me, hurt me inside. She was the one who smashed my heart into a million pieces that look like shards of glass. I never healed completely. However, she and I thought we were being foolish (mostly, I was) and became just friends. She reverted to the usual treatment of sarcasm and slapping.

*to be continued*

Now Playing: “Boys Do Fall In Love” by Parokya ni Edgar

In all these tracks, there was almost no mention that I “fell in love”. Well, that part of the playlist has a rather painful edge to it, and so it’s very painful.

When I was a kid, I didn’t believe in cooties. I learned about romantic relationships at an early age. As such, I had crushes even since I was a kid.

My first crush was named Josyne. She is the daughter of one of Dad’s friends. Every time I saw her, I act all goofy and idiotic. Mind you, this was at the age of about 6 or 8. But I guess this was all puppy love, since I was still very young then.

I then encountered a form of confusion. I next had a crush on not one, not two, but three girls at the same time. They were Alyssa, my neighbor and childhood friend, Rochelle, my sister’s childhood best friend, and Em-Em, my prep school seatmate. Again, at a young age, I was confronted with men’s tendency to become unfaithful to just one girl. But being the principle-centered kid that I was, I did not completely befriend them all to avoid the awkwardness. However, in my mind, there was still confusion.

And then I met Angelica in the third grade. When I first saw her, BAM! No more crushes on the other three. I began to imagine a lot of stuff about us. I guess she was my real first love. I was really lucky then, because she was my seatmate. Ah, how I remember her porcelain skin, her cute dimpled smile when she asks me what our teacher said, and her silky black hair that was all I could see when she sleeps on our desk. She was so kind to me. There was one time that she cried in class, and she leaned her head on my shoulder. However, I never told her that I had an intense crush on her, because I thought that we were too young. I never saw her again after the third grade. Up until now, I still dream about her, but as I grew older, her image became more blurred. I still yearn for her, and I still keep wishing I knew where she was.

I still had a hangover from Angelica’s departure when I met Karla in the fifth grade. She was the muse of the class, and she was the girl both Angelo and I had a crush on. Doing a martyr act, I put all my efforts in forgetting about her. It worked. However, she became Angelo’s seatmate, and she was just behind me. That was the time Angelo became obnoxious and rude to me. He also became rather rude to Karla. Since she needed someone to talk to, she talked to me. I took care in talking to her, believing that I would betray my best friend had I ignited my crush for her. I didn’t want to do that even though Angelo’s mean to me. And so passes another girl.

Come the sixth grade, I joined the Division School’s Press Conference and Contest. When I went in training, I met Princess. This was my first “love-at-first-sight”. But this crush was short-lived, because I found out from my friends that Princess wasn’t really good for me. Still, when she became my partner for the graduation cotillion, I was thrilled. But, as I said, short-lived.

*to be continued*

Now Playing: “First Day High”

The tempo rises as I come to high school. I went to Atheneum Amcan School (now Atheneum Amcan Academy) in Noveleta, Cavite.

They say high school is the happiest years of a person. I disagree. My high school years were memorable, yes, but they weren’t generally happy. There was too much bitterness inside me.

So, let’s start with first year.

In high school, I met my “archenemy”. JM Alamar, the pint-sized irritation. I felt like Mr. Krabs when he deals with Plankton. Since I beat him in the eliminations for the Elocution Contest in first year, he harbored a deep grudge against me. He was a Hall of Famer, meaning that he has been winning the Elocution Contest before I came. Since then, he’s opposed me in everything, mostly in academics.

On a lighter side, I also met my two real best friends, Kevon and Brandon Hartwig. They are two American twins who were born and raised here in the Philippines. As such, they can speak Filipino and know about qwek-qwek. They’re also very smart. They’ve been my wingmen in those four sad years where I could have been a lone wolf. Until now, even when they’ve gone back to their mother land, I still contact them through the Internet.

I had a lot of firsts. First classroom in the third floor. First hot teacher. First time to eat alone. First colored uniform (the uniform was colored blue. Before that, I had to wear white polo’s). Amidst those firsts, I grew up much.

Now Playing: “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been” by Relient K

Second year was the darkest year of my life. The song goes into a B-E chord pattern.

This was the time I had an identity crisis. I started my search for who I am. The idiot that I was, I looked in the wrong places. I not only failed, but my academics got involved in the downfall as well.

Second year was also the first time my poor heart got broken. I’ll elaborate on a new track later.

Second year was so grim, I’d rather forward the song and hit the “Next” button on the MP3.

Now Playing: “Must Have Done Something Right” by Relient K

In every dark time, there is the turning point and the dawn of light and day. For me, that was third year. Third year was the “feel-good” part of the high school playlist.

It was July. I went to class. I passed by the bulletin board. I kept walking, and then stopped. I backtracked to the bulletin board. I saw my name, right below the label that says “Honor Certificate Awardees”. And then I exploded.

That event was the batting momentum I needed for the rest of high school. After that, I maintained my honor standing. I became a medalist at the end of the year.

It was also in third year that I found myself. I found my identity, and from then on, I stayed true to myself. I gained a new ability: reasoning. I got the skill of explaining why I do the things I do. I also learned to find my true friends: the ones who wouldn’t shirk away from me. It feels good to get a chain of merry stuff happen to me. The lilting chords of the song took me away to paradise.

Now Playing: “Alumni Homecoming” by Parokya ni Edgar

Fourth year was the end of the high school playlist. It was good to have ended with a bang-out fashion. I learned more, and our group got tight-knit.

However, there was a bitter part in my fourth year, and like my second year, I’d rather skip this track. But I think a change in topic is fitting.

*to be continued*

This is kinda fun. Got it from Jai.

Please put your answer to the questions below in the comments section, then I will find out if you know me that well :) It's fun!!!, and do remember to be kind. :-D

1. Where did you and I first meet?
2. How long have you known me?
3. The last time we saw each other?
4. Your first impression of me upon meeting/seeing me?
5. Am I funny?
6. What's my favorite music?
7. One word you would use to describe me?
8. Have you ever hugged me?
9. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?
10. If you and I were stranded on an island, what would I bring?
11. Where do you think I will be in 25 years?
12: Will you re-post this so I can fill this out for you?

Tamaan ng kidlat and mga di sumagot dito. Haha. Just kidding!

Now Playing: “Mahna Mahna” by the Muppets

When I learned to read, I began to bury myself in books. I recall trying to read and understand Mom’s Physical Therapy textbooks (Mom was then a PT teacher in De La Salle University in Dasmariñas, Cavite) and Dad’s mission logs on his logbook (Dad is a pilot in the Philippine Air Force). I had many coloring pads, story books, and picture books.

I had no sense of balance in my toddler years. I fell down a lot, and when I do, instead of raising my arms to stop my fall, I use my forehead. That’s why I had a signature bump on my forehead. My friends all laughed at me. My lack of balance may have contributed to my indifference to sports.

Growing up, I got to bond with my relatives a lot. I had so many cousins that we call our family a clan now. We had enough to create two basketball teams, a cheering squad, and a rock band.

I was curious how Gary V and Ogie Alcasid made those hypnotic sounds they call “singing”. Whenever I hear those sounds, I try to mimic them. I also imitated them when I’m taking a bath or when in a room where my voice echoes. After some time, I developed a singing voice of my own. I kept it a secret until about the time I went to elementary school.

Now Playing: The first lyrics of “F.U.N. Song” from Spongebob Squarepants

“F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me. N is for anything and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea…”

The concept of “school” is weird for me. When there are no classes, I want to go to school, but in class, I wish that school was over. I could not make up my mind if I want to go to school or not.

I went to nursery school when I was three years old. It’s weird to be in a place where Mom isn’t, but I kind of liked it anyway. I made friends (although I don’t know them anymore), played with cheap, plastic toys, jumped around in the playground inside the school, and was taught the National Anthem. I was also taught manners and courtesy. It’s too bad I didn’t learn.

And then kindergarten comes. Well, actually, I never went to kindergarten, because I was accelerated. I skipped kindergarten and moved on to prep school. From prep school to the third grade, I attended Pag-Asa Elementary School in Cavite City, Cavite. It’s a private school owned by someone Chinese. As a result, we had “Chinese” as a subject (yes, even prep kids had to learn it). However, I don’t remember anything from it anymore except the numbers 1 to 10 in Chinese. I use them when I want to annoy my classmates when I’m counting.

Now Playing: The second part of “F.U.N. Song” from Spongebob Squarepants

“F if for fire than burns down buildings, U is for uranium rods. N is for no survivors-“

When I stepped up to the fourth grade, I transferred to Pamplona Elementary School Central in Pamplona, Las Piñas City. When you get to public school, you get the feel of being a street-smart kid. You learn the tools of surviving in the jungle we call the urban city.

I had my first best friend in the fifth grade. His name was Angelo. We were inseparable. We also had the same crush back then, but a different track will tell more about it later. He was a good listener, a song-making partner, and a real humble person.

Or so I thought. He began lampooning me when my arms got broken. I still don’t know why or how, but our relationship got ugly. But we made up on the sixth grade.

The song goes on a happier note come sixth grade. I really developed lasting friendships with my classmates, and up until now we still contact each other. I knew that they would always be with me.

*to be continued*

Some people say that life’s a highway, or that love’s what life is made of. Some say that you start living when you start breathing. And there are those that say life is just a stinking pile of crap and that it has no meaning since we’re all going to die anyway. Well, I don’t concur with these people. To compare life with such a mundane thing or to attribute a physical action to the start of life is preposterous. Life is not mundane. It is full of meaning, but no one can completely define life. But for me, life is music. Life is music in so many ways. Music is not mundane; it takes special understanding and emotion to completely appreciate it. It has rhythm. It has meter or beat. It has high and low notes. Its tempo hastens and slows down. As such, my life is a never-ending playlist that sounds on God’s MP3. Let’s look through it, shall we?

Now Playing: Vivaldi’s “Primavera”

The music starts on February 28, 1993, 4:15 PM. My shrill cry was first heard at Trinidad Clinic, Pamplona, Las Piñas City, Metro Manila. I was the first-born of Nestor Florente Rayos and Billma Rayos. They named me Florence Ryan, Florence from my Dad’s name Florente, and Ryan from a kid my parents took care of for a little while before Mom had me. They said I was a rambunctious little baby. I have no memory of bouncing when I was born, so I guess they didn’t say I was a “bouncing little baby.” I had dark skin and pudgy cheeks. When I was born, they all immediately said I looked exactly like Dad when he was still a baby. I retained my similarity to his looks up to now.

When I turned a year old, my parents gave me two gifts. One of them is “Sherman”. He is a brown teddy bear wearing a yellow-and-red striped sleeping gown and a sleeping cap striped likewise. I always had him with me, and up to now, he lies on my bed. He used to sing, but his vocal chords expired a long time ago, so he’s mute now. Another gift (annoyance would be a better name for her) is my younger sister Nessel Cyra. She was born 20 days before my first birthday, so every year, there are 20 days in February when we have the same age. On those days, she doesn’t call me “kuya”. After that year, our youngest sister was born. She’s rather saintly, and so Mom named her Holly Marie, from “Holy Mary”. We used to tease her “kalbo” or “holly-maw” until she gained hair.

*to be continued*